(2023-06-07 15:05)indoraptor Wrote: For me, I openly attribute isolation from, lack of socialization with, and trauma caused by humans from an early age to me identifying as & seeking community with other nonhumans.
My therianthropy itself, I feel, is more psychological than spiritual, yes — but I also feel that it is innate. I can’t tell you why I feel, think, and do some of the things that I do; whether I was predisposed from birth to be this way, or if I would have been different had I been a happier child — but I’m inclined to think that, whatever it is, it was Always inside of me, inside of my brain, my heart, what many would call my ‘soul.’
I relate to so much of this, specifically with how it feels innate, and that it's something that's always been a part of you or your 'soul' as you put it (I don't have a better term). Also with how your discovery of your therianthropy was the result of your upbringing and not that you became one.
I felt very isolated through my childhood, very few friends my age. A lot of that is my own fault, I never learned how to be a true friend to people early on and I was kind of narcissistic and indifferent to classmates growing up. It wasn't til high school that I learned what a true friend was like and I became even more disconnected from people around me after that. I'm lucky not to have experienced real trauma or abuse, but I always felt like I was less than human. I never felt a strong need to "fit in" and weird personalities were mostly accepted where I grew up but I was still singled out as the creepiest in school, I was made to feel like there was something extra wrong with me.
Since I was real little I always had some kind of strong canine connection. I feel it closer to my core than anything else, like a deep gut feeling. To let out wolf like movements and behaviors would just feel comfortable and please me in a way nothing else could, just felt right with my bones in a way I guess.
As I got older I started experiencing shifts but I didn't take myself seriously, I was already so weird why would I want to push that further? So I tried to bottle up and suppress what I believe what was my therianthropy for years, but it never left me, the urges to express the canine in me kept coming back stronger. Now I'm just trying to find people I can share these things with. I have some good friends nowadays but they don't relate to what I'm experiencing. But it feels great to read threads like this and everyones replies. Anyone else think there's a strong correlation between struggling to connect with people early on and discovering you're therian?