(2022-11-01 16:14)limearey Wrote: all my life people has eather been scared of me, or liked to bully me. i have ben called a whole lot of names. but the one that has always clung onto me is when people scream and run away from me yelling that "here comes the monster! run!"
Yes, I was called names and disliked at school..
I think not without reason. But I didn't understand why and there was no one to explain it to.
(2022-11-01 16:14)limearey Wrote: thing. it all started with the monster one when i was getting beat infront of everyone by someone who was taking advantige of me for 6 months every day in a row all day long, then pulled a gun on me at his house pecause i refused to bow to him. the next day he started beating me, something inside felt like it cracked.
that's the reason.
(2022-11-01 16:14)limearey Wrote: i litteraly attaked him like a hellhound would. ripping at his arms with my sharp teeth and nails, then prouncing on him to the point he fell on the wood gym floor and i got on him and took his throught in between my jaws like i would do to my pray, and locked on with so much to the point 3 of his friends had to all try to get me off him. through the whole insident it felt like i wasnt the one controling me. it felt like i was on a ride. it scared everyone there, and even to this day 5 years later still makes even me scared of my self. idk why that happened...
I've heard similar stories before... and unfortunately from mentally unstable people observed by a psychiatrist.
(2022-11-01 16:14)limearey Wrote: but i was trying to defind myself. i know that. but it still haunts me knowing that if they didnt get me off him 30 seconds later, he would have stoped breathing... is this normal to have defencive systums like this?? it scares me mostly that i could have killed him, and i couldent stop what was happining... is there anything i can do to stop this from happining again, or should i even be worried about it?? it's scarry...
yes, this is a normal reaction (if it can be called normal). the state of affect (possible incorrect translation).
from your description, it is not clear what situation you are in and how you can change it... and how can I help you.
try to talk to the teacher about the bullying of other students, maybe he will tell you how to act so that it stops or reduces