RE: Theory of Therianthropy as a Developmental Adaptation to Trauma or Autism
A year or two-ish after, still a very very good read.
I love the tossles and waves of discussion and argument, even with touchy subjects such as trauma. As well as me practicing my open-mindedness with everyone's response or rebuttal. I think everyone here had a good amount to say, thou I think the main issue is having the reassurance that this is just their own belief and not the fact of life. Or misinterpretation. For example, something I'd like to note is when Tdae said, " Trauma can pull apart the masculine and feminine aspects of the soul causing altered experiences or confusion about gender/sexuality." and another took it in a rather different approach. In the context that it's in, it makes a lot of sense and I have personal experience with it. My dad is ( or was ) an alcoholic, narcissistic ( I'm inclined to believe he just has CPTSD rather than born Narc, that is just my observation, perhaps even both idek fuck him ) man-child who is me me me and swore he would care for me. He was also very misogynistic and as an autistic AFAB it affected me deeply. The thought process is like -
Why would I want to be a girl? The same women that are objectified and belittled by my dad and on TV, when I could be cool and like my dad and be with the favorable group.
That of course sent me on the path to gender identity for most of my childhood, even to the point where I thought I was trans. ( THIS IS NOT SAYING ALL TRANS PEOPLE ARE TRAUMATIZED OR HAVE SOME CHILDHOOD ISSUE, I HAVE SEEN IT MYSELF ) But alas, when I got to 18 and did my internal work, I realized this connection and became more content with myself as just... me. No need for labeling. But yes, long example but something that made me relate to what Tdae said. Some are born feeling another gender, some are not born with that feeling, and some have other reasonings, it's the complexity of life.
Most of what was discussed originally were things I've noticed about myself already, as well as others. I am only 20, but I recognize the years' worth of undoing, breaking, and self-loving I have to do. It is a journey only I and the Lord my God will walk together, and I've already learned so much. I've mentioned it somewhere on here, but how my autism goes hand in hand with my animalistic behavior. My - atypical behavior - and how it would be interpreted as out of the norm. I definitely struggle with this even when I'm masking at work and in public, though I'm trying to stop masking so much and just be me. These acts, gestures, and noises that I do are wolf/primate orientated than, ig you can say, " stereotypical stimming" and it helps me calm down. It comforts me to mentally shift when I can, and I recognize that to be disassociative or a coping method. Whichever one, deep down I know the root is trauma. Because in the calmer hours of the day back then, I would run in my backyard on all fours and pretend I was a variety of animals.
Also, one last thing before I create a whole article, what was mentioned in the beginning, "Early trauma can profoundly effect a person later in life even if it's not remembered. I think it's very common because people are cut off from their instincts and don't understand children's developmental needs. I think this is a major contributing factor to mental illness, addiction and antisocial behavior." The body keeps the score is what I thought of. Its really dark to discuss, but that's something I am struggling with currently. I feel it in my body something happened, but I don't remember because it was just so long ago. So early... it is disheartening to think. My earliest memory is seeing the black void, the womb of the universe, and a gradient light into existing as a 6-year-old. Not all together, but those are the two memories I have.
Anyways, I feel like I could elaborate more on what I wrote, but I think that's enough. Really great to think about and ponder on if you're at that level of the self. I love to read other's perspectives and comprehensions of aspects of life.
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Keep learning, from the Great Attractor to the Quantum field.
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