I'm not a wolf Therian at all. Though the majority of my Theriotype is canine. I do realize and know the difference in each different type of wild and domestic canines, so there are many different types of hierarchy that take place in each species. I feel that our pack does need a small bit of hierarchy. But everyone needs to realize that we aren't these animals, we are humans that identify as the animals in human bodies, with human emotions, minds, and the fact that at the core, taking away all comforts in life, that humans are also animals. Even if most Therians identifying with non-human animals, feel or seem to feel superior to any kind of humans.
I do find it offensive (but also understand that you care and only wish to help me) that so many Therians here, whether they be wolf or not, tend to dislike, prejudge and even discredit any/all formed "packs" Therian packs, just because of their bad experiences, bad reputations, generalizing and forming opinions on even something I can't control (which would be the majority of self-proclaimed Alphas and packs, popular wolf things and ranking systems). I too have been scared and judgmental about this community group because of my own past with bad Therian/Otherkin groups, that I prepared for the worst and ended up getting myself hurt out of anxiety, paranoia, and of course, opening my mouth expressing myself. But I was wrong, and I think you might be wrong about me too, I feel like I shouldn't be judged based on previous experiences with others that aren't me. I am me, I'm not those other people.
For the record, I too have been through my fair share of other packs formed by furries, Therians, Otherkins, and other human groups (whether they were BDSM or just a regular human group, even work bosses, teachers, etc) that only wanted to control their members, those lower them on the totem pole or ranks through fear, and by being Alphas or Dominates, they automatically demanded and expected people to be submissive, respectful, loyal, and compliant to a point where one might say these people are slaves towards them without earning any submission, respect, anything from these so called followers or members that they called their pack members or whatever group members.
I was even part of a pack before I created the Jisu Pack, and I was a loyal Beta and a pack pet to the 2 Alphas, a male and female, I was asked to investigate and save logs, do aa bunch of work for him, and I accepted because I wanted to please him. The male was the boss-top dog wolf only, no other species or canine in him, at least he claimed, but I learned that he was nothing like a real wolf, he was as bad or worse than a human, but he ruled with an iron fist and often through fear, not mutual respect and not the loud in your face type with, but with the soft spoken, dangerous, behind closed doors manipulative types that would gain your trust privately, you'd open up to him because he'd phrase you and make you feel worth something, like you mattered and had a purpose, and he made you feel special, and he'd later use it against you if you stepped out of line. He verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused his mate over typing, mic/cam on Skype, manipulated her into giving him nude pics and videos, he tried to control every aspect of her life, make her not have many RL friends or get jealous easily even though he always cheated on everyone he was ever with. And even though she was the other Alpha, she had no say, when it came down to it, she wasn't his equal, not in the pack, not in their relationship, not at all in anything and neither was any of us, regardless of rank or how long we knew him or how close we were. These Alpha and Dominant types are not what I'd consider to be what they called themselves, I believe they are pathetic, insecure, attention seeking, wanting to build theirselves up by putting others down, hurting them, using other people's fear and blind following even so much as to say worship the Alpha/Dominant just to make themselves feel better, to be on a power trip and to me they are piss-poor sorry excuses for human beings or any non-humans for that matter and should be taught a lesson.
You might see me say I have a pack, that I say I'm an Alpha, that I'm "different" than others but without any proof or my members here to join this forum and tell their own experiences, what we've all been through together, how it's made us stronger and closer each time a hardship came up. And show you whatever they really feel and how they see me, to help prove my point, I'm sorry but I have no control over them and I won't ask them to join a site they would rather not join, as they are happy with the way things are, they'd be fine with having new members and making new friends but we aren't currently looking for any members and they already have issues with Therian groups as I've told you and my pack all openly about my previous experiences with groups that weren't TG, they aren't as forgiving and willing to jump out and look for new friends like I am.
They are here for me while I'm recovering from my surgery I had yesterday, as I am for them whenever they need someone or something. And the female mate of that other pack alpha, Avery, well she's our Beta since we formed this pack and she's our best friend, I'm like a parental figure to her when she needs that, for personal reasons I can't disclose, and she would happily vouch for how much I'm not like any of those other pack Alphas or Dominants, if she was on this form. I feel like I need to prove myself to you all, because how so many have had bad experiences (which I have had that too, but I'm trying not to let some bad apples spoil the entire bunch), but I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't have to feel the urge to defend myself against others that weren't like me, just because we called ourselves Alphas of packs, and I have very good communication skills, I've honestly doubted myself many times as in a leadership role(if you can call it that, more like guidance and just a good loyal friend that holds people together), and I've asked every member what they felt without them being afraid to voice their honest opinions to me. I'm very honest, loyal, and I try hard to take care of everyone in this pack, even when I'm too sick, or hurting and someone needs helps, I'm there for them, and I love each and every one of them, I would do a lot for them. And they help me, they see me sickly, or hurting, or too tired and they offer their support, their help, advice, and give me space, time, they accept Kai talking for me when I can't, they know my illnesses and medications, they know my secrets and personal info. I trust them more than I trust many RL people, I respect them for who and what they are, I accept them, I would never hurt them intentionally, but I do give tough love advice when it seemed needed, and they accepted it, having mentioned that they already felt it but wanted more opinions from others, which is understandable and smart.
Our other Beta, Yumi and our Gamma Kash, were both in another pack than the one me, Kai, and Avery were in, but the experiences were similar, the Alpha didn't know what she was doing, she wasn't at all consistent, she tried to make people call her Alpha, rather than a name, just by the title alone.. and wouldn't treat the pack as real, it was RP but in ways she expected RL feelings to be included in her RP pack.. among other things.. plus she is younger than all of us.. In the Jisu pack, I'm the oldest and I feel like with a lot of experiences, that I can that person, that Alpha, that leader for my pack and my mate.
Even though I've been broke as shit lately, I'm still trying to help one of my packmembers, our Gamma, Kash move to our state and get a lawyer to get divorced from his wife that makes him pay child support on a kid that isn't his, who came out black and the mom and him are both white, and he's tried to get a DNA test but he was told that it wouldn't matter, because they'd still charge him for not paying because they were married when she had the kid, making him both of their responsibilities.. I call that bullshit, so I'll do everything I can to help him win this case because he's wasting money every month that could be going to his living instead of being homeless most of the time, living on his friend's couches and in his vehicle.
I do want to be the Alpha that people will respect and feel comfortable being around, approachable, kind, caring, not dominating, not intimidating, and my 4 other packmembers aren't "fully" Wolf Therians, they are hybrids like myself, expect Kai aka @MikanuHatari
he's fully Red Fox.
I'm not a primate and my pack aren't at all based on primates, other than the human need for friendship/support/etc and the dominant members don't get the best stuff or the most/last say in decisions, we work together to survive as a closer than human friendship group, closer than a family unit as well, we've been together in this pack for 2-3 years now, while Avery's been with us sine mid-2015, while at the beginning, yes there were issues with a few members that did betray myself and the other packmembers, they were banned from he pack through mutual majority vote, and before I created or brought together this group of people from all over the world calling it a pack because it feels most comfortable to me as a canine Therian Hybrid, and as every member of the pack of is mostly canine Therian Hybrids, one being like me as Therian and Otherkin Shapeshifter that happens to be Genderfluid as well, that'd be Yumi, I call her my sibling, and Kash my sibling too. While Avery is considered mine and Kai's offpring. And we all consider communication, honestly, loyalty, and mutual respect, as well as long to be the most important parts of being in the pack. It's not some RP or furry thing with fictional story lines or characters, it's not online only for shits and giggles, it's real to us and even if we were betrayed by some, who we thought we could trust, we won't allow that to close ourselves off from new people.. and for me, I allow people back too easily, I forgive and want to give many chances, and that hurts me a lot more than helping me in the end, so it's something I know I need to work on.
We aren't calling ourselves a clan or a pride, and we really dislike being dysphoric and calling ourselves anything but a pack. To point out an opposite point, in many human "friend groups" they don't always just call themselves friends, they use nicknames, terms such as squad, posse, crew, gang, team, buddies, tribe, clan, clique, fam, family, hommies, etc. Even if I think and feel that many of those group terms are completely stupid by how they are used by the youth of today, some of the terms are from long ago or military terms and have a history and respect behind them.
I hope I made things clear and that it's helped people understand me better and what me and my pack stand for.. I'm sincerely sorry for all bad experiences you've all had with past people who dared to call themselves an Alpha when they really weren't even fit to be called anything but trash. Thank you for caring and making sure I wasn't making any mistakes, or hurting any of my members. I talk with them daily unless I'm too sick, and I already know what they feel but I'll discuss it with them again to make sure.. but I've tried to disband the pack or step down because I've felt unworthy in the past, but they wouldn't let me, and I agreed to stay but after I could have a break to clear my mind and reflect on things. It hurts my, making my cry when if I ever hurt or disappoint my packmembers.
I still feel hurt over one of out closest ex-pack members betraying us.. even tried to befriend her again and she just hurt us all more.. we believed she was loyal and trustworthy, but she went off to an enemy and ended up mating him, while breaking up with her RL mate, and ended up having that other pack alpha (not Avery's ex-mate), but a different one, get her to break contact with all if not most of her friends and family so he could control every aspect of her life, and always asks for his mate's passwords so he can watch everything that's done. :/ That ex-packmate of ours believed his lies and slander about me, it hurts to this day, but I'm trying to put it behind me.. They even tried to bring my other members into it and I wouldn't have that. I've typed way too much and I'm dosing off from the meds I'm on, so I'll leave it as is and just hope that it's enough info. So people know that I'm taking this business very seriously, and that I'm not some phony.