(2021-04-25 5:40)Tdae Wrote: @Alliana Trauma is subjective. Sometimes I'm like, "nothing bad ever happened to me so why am I so screwed up..." I wasn't raped, starved or abandoned. "Nothing" did a lot of damage. I feel like I was "programmed" but actually that is a term for what criminals do to their children. I just had a normal dysfunctional family so maybe it's wrong to say I was programmed. It feels like it though at least to a degree.
My theriothropy, the wolf was almost like an accident of chaotic magic to help me find my way out.
True, I also had a dysfunctional family (cold mother, yelling father and a brother that wanted me dead) and a bad experience at my elementary school. So maybe it was trauma, after all, I just worry about using the word because other people experienced trauma and I think mine isn't really all that important? Like somehow me mentioning my past makes it seem rather trivial for myself compared to others and somehow I am insulting someone's experience by labeling it as trauma. I dunno, I just....I don't really want to step on anyone's toes, you know?
I am glad your wolf is helping you find your way out though and I am sorry to hear about your family. People who cause trauma really need to die in a fire.
But yeah, that's my explanation.