On being judged

Hey everybody,

So the other day I got reminded that we older therians often assume you know this, but then you can't know it because we haven't told you about it.

On being judged as a therian. Or as anything else, really. It's going to happen at some point in your life that someone is going to try and judge you and what does it mean? It's easy to get emotional over the topic because when people judge you regarding something really fundamental about you, such as being a therian, you feel like you're being asked to prove that you are valid.

Well, you know: Everybody is valid. People often have a hard time understanding things that they themselves do not experience.


It is important to understand that, everybody you meet is going to have their own perspective. People tend to understand those who have experiences similar to their own better and be more judgemental towards those whose experiences they don't share. I've had people doubt me over things like my issues with wearing glasses, so it's not surprising when faced with something completely alien to them, such as what is it like to feel like you are a different species, people are going to have a hard time with that. And they are going to doubt you. It doesn't mean that you are wrong. It just means that they don't understand and don't believe you.

Therians have always been under great scrutiny in this regard and for many of us, this is something we begin to internalise over the years. People are judging us, so we tend to be very judgy of ourselves. If you are looking to join a therian community, be prepared to accept to be judged on everything you say and do. Do not feel attacked, we expect of you little more than what we expect of ourselves.

Take your time and help us understand you.


Many people here are therians, obviously, but not as many are LGBT+ or have mental illness or are representative of particular political options, etc, so if you are one of those things, you can expect to be judged and questioned about it. And you can expect that some of us are not going to believe you.

You don't have to prove yourself to us, you can be whatever you are and you are valid. Some people are more open-minded than others. It is not required to be open-minded to be a therian and in fact because therians are all kinds of people, quite a few of us are not very prone to open-mindedness at all.

Therian Guide is a community for all therians so keep in mind that it is not impossible for you to be judged here. As a staff member, I would like to add that you don't get to explode just because we do not care if someone here does not accept who and what you claim to be. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. If you don't like that you can talk to them, but we do not guarantee positive outcomes.

It's just something you're going to have to learn to live with.

LP,
Dusty

I'd like to add that there is a line between someone holding a judgemental opinion of another and wielding prejudice, hate or harassment toward someone because they are different.

In the case of the former, as Dust said, there's not much anyone can do.

To paraphrase my grandfather, "everyone has an opinion". Yes and they're entitled to such just as much as you are.

If that line gets crossed and someone mistreats you because of the opinion they hold of you, however, come see me.

I care and I will not stand for prejudice, harrasment or hate.

Lyc