I appreciate the direct answers to those questions from you both, @
DustWolf and @LycanTheory . Being able to address those self-doubts and get feedback is really helpful for those who don't have that established sense of self-trust and confidence. I know questions like that can seem weirdly obvious and possibly naïve, but I cannot overstate the significance of honoring those curiosities with genuine care and honest responses.
In that sense, I definitely second @
Tornir 's comment about policing language. It's something that's actually come up a lot in interpersonal relationships and conversations with my housemates. I used to be scared to ask questions about what words meant or what someone's intentions were because I thought I was missing something that should be obvious. Can easily be attributed to neurodivergence and/or childhood trauma and growing up in a family/culture that wasn't very nurturing or helpful when it came to vulnerable curiosity. But I know I'm not the only one who's experienced that and who feels that way, and I've even seen the benefits of having meta conversations with others that just genuinely have different associations for words and their intentions.
Something that's helped me since realizing these things is to ask myself what I think someone meant by the words they used, ask them if it's what they meant, and offer the space for them to agree or correct my interpretation of their words. When it comes to language around identity, it can be even more complicated and stressful because of how pro-conformity and anti-self expression our current global society is. Despite the promotion of "individuality" and "standing apart from the crowd" propaganda, in all actuality, we are still being taught that we should fit into easily categorized boxes, fitting into specific expectations and following a life trajectory that blends well with the structured capitalist framework. And when movements or self-recognition becomes well recognized and respected enough, that language is often co-opted in a way to fit it into a "new" box - but a box all the same (think of how "non-binary" as an identity has started to look more like a "third gender", which isn't inherently bad, it just speaks to my point).
All of that is to say that the labels and language we use is a means to an end. We're trying to connect with each other and find people that can help us connect with ourselves and the world, and in return, provide the experiences we gain to people in the future who will be looking for the same resources. In order to embrace that, I fully believe that deconstructing language and recognizing it as an imperfect but necessary vehicle for communication and self-realization is imperative.