Some interesting observations here Lopori. I think I can largely agree that they're true as far as generalizations go. They're tendencies, not absolute rules.

It certainly is something that can make male friendship difficult, as when, for some reason or another, you can't do the formerly shared activity or do ti as often as you could in the past, don't be surprised if your male friends drop you like a sack of hot coal. I've had that happen many times. There's nothing malicious or personal about it. It's more that the reality is as you say, male socializing tends to revolve around shared activities so when that shared activity dwindles or stops, so does the friendship.

My approach is kind of hybrid since I think shared activities are a good way to meet knew people and start to get to know them and create the foundation for a deeper friendship, and then after that point constantly Doing Things together doesn't have to be an emphasis, but as I've said, in practice it tends to not go well with men.

It's interesting how things changed. Back in the. day, it was generally reckoned that female autism didn't really exist. With the rise of the warrior cats fandom online in the mid teens, that seemed to be a solid counter-example that can't be denied, generally seeming to be the female autistic equivalent of what the Sonic fandom was to male autistic people in earlier eras. Those are stereotypes, of course, but they do have at least a kernel of truth to them. That's a tangent.

One big counter-example that occurs to me is that historically the therian community was largely male dominated. From its inception all the way up to maybe 2010-2015 it was overwhelmingly male dominated. The influx of new people during the Tumblr era decisively shifted the demographics to the reverse. It is interesting to think about why. Why does it appeal so much to preteen and teen girls? Cultural factors I don't quite understand. I haven't bene a teenager in over ten years so I'm old and out of touch with these things.

Re: subcommunities that lean amab, I was just about to answer that with dragons and then you already noted that yourself a few lines in. So yeah, seconding you on dragons. No idea why that is, I guess dragons are a bit masculine coded? RAWR FIRE BREATHING DRAGONS AND KNIGHTS AND SWORDS. Toy dragons tend to be sold as "boys' toys" more often.

As for the tiktok stuff, the first thing that comes to mind is how it caught on that might explain the afab lean? Teenage girls are the arbiters of what's cool, they're trendsetters, ideas spread like wildfire via them. Maybe it's partly that? Despite the similarity to furry. And interestingly, animal media like warrior cats appeals to girls for some reason.

I can also envision the gap closing somewhat over time because of exchange with furries.

Edit: the dragon thing got me really curious now about the gender distribution of soecific kintypes

(2026-01-27 18:33)Observer Wrote:  Maybe I'm not getting the point?

To be fair, this discussion is more about community wide trends than outliers. There's a lot of people who act in ways that do not match what Lopori says, just as a lot do match. I do like smaller groups, and don't hugely have a preference in doing (I am in many groups that are about observing birds, or insects, which would be a "doing" activity) or talking (but i'm not super into pure gossip, I just enjoy a good conversation). I do enjoy the therianthrope community's habit of discussing experiences and to be person first, but i don't really care about similar things in for example lesbian groups. So it's not... as categorical as "you, therianthrope, enjoy person first things", it's moreso "the therian community, overall, has a tendency to be person first talk, and it also seems to be afab dominated, and there could be a correlation between the two", not even necessarily a strict causation.

I'm not sure if I'm the outlier here, but

Quote:Stereotypical male bonding is done over a shared activity, eg a game or a sport or train spotting. Furry is an activity, fursuits are things. It is no wonder then that the fandom is so male dominated because they can all meet up and do an activity together. In quite big groups.

This applies to me. My idea of bonding is indeed a shared activity. Though 3/5 of my friends are female, and they pretty much do act like you describe female bonding in the next paragraph, so I'm kinda forced to just give in. I'm generally unhappy like this and I don't quite feel like we're on the same page most of the time. One out of two of my male friends is also like my female friends, and the other male friend used to be more like me but went towards that as well lately.

I'm AFAB and I see myself as both male and female. I think these things are a bit more complicated, given that being transgender is also biological.

The reason I ever joined the therian community was only because I couldn't pretend that I wasn't a therian anymore, but I've been in and out and I do just fine without it.

Maybe I'm not getting the point?

The point about furry artist is interesting, I wonder if there's an equivalent in the alterhuman community ? A specific subtype that would be composed of mostly male-at-birth folk ?
I have to admit I'm less categorical on this because i've also met a ton of nooks in alterhuman communities that are dominated by AMAB folk, but I acknowledge it might be luck of the draw. Specifically, draconic communities have a ton of transfem and cis male folks, but I do wonder if it's caused by the kind of mixed origin of dragon communities with dragon furries. (draconity.org was pretty equal furry and dragonkin, and this repeats in a lot of draconic spaces)

I'm assuming this difference of gender will probably lessen with time because furries and alterhumans are mixing a lot lately. Unless there's a sort of renewal of therians being seen as cringe, i'm assuming we'll see a lot more amab people that came from the furry community that do call themselves therians or display the theta delta, but they might not be the ones on therian focused census simply because they stick to the furry community still, and kind of are developing a different way of seeing their therianthropy/interacting online about it.

I do wonder though : if amab -> community that Does Things and group up from your perspective, and afab -> community that discusses, looks inward, then... shouldn't the tiktok kids be mostly amab? Maybe I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that it had a lean toward afab folk, and their main characteristics are a rather shallow view of therianthropy that chalks up to a vague feeling toward an animal, a tendency toward a shared costume and habit, and meeting up and sharing those masks / doing quadrobic together / whatever the kids are up to. Doesn't that sound more in line with what furries did?

Im wondering if this is one reason I feel outcast with this community aside from strugling to communicate. Im AFAB but always been more masc, even though I identif as gender fluid my behavour pattern would fit in more with the male mindset. Yet im to female for a group of males but also not fem enough for female groups. I find female groups more intimidating to interact with as there are more socal expectations

Hay bag! Im really happy for you, and ik you’ll do great as the owner!

And @DustWolf , im glad your gonna still be here, nd remember we all love ya/platonic

I mostly view it from the psychological perspective, tying my 'types into neurodivergent traits (ex. animatronic due to muted emotions from autism, corvids/other birds due to imprinting, dragons related to being strong after trauma, etc.)

However, there are certain 'types that have a bit more behind them.

My Resplendent Quetzal and Golden Eagle 'types feel deeply ingrained within my being, which I relate to my heritage (Mexican)

The Resplendent Quetzal is a shy bird that lives in southern Mexico (not exactly where my family is from, but close enough) and the Golden Eagle is the literal symbol/national bird of Mexico. It's even on the flag:



Hopefully that image loaded. If it didn't, literally just google "mexican flag".

Anyway, even the Golden Eagle's name in Spanish (Águila Real) feels central to my connection with it. It's a symbol, both for myself and the country of my heritage.

I always felt like I didn't fit in. Sure, with human society in general, but most importantly (to me) with my own blood relatives. I could see similarity and cohesion between my mother, father, and sister that I simply did not share. This feeling was probably my earliest expression of feeling non-human. The more I tried to fit in, the more I stood out. It reflected most in social interactions where I was "not like the others." And my only other means to cope was to escape or otherwise distance myself which led to further isolation. I'm not sure what seeded the initial feeling. But I'd say this component was psychological (nurture).

As far as my type, I'd always had a connection to wolves. It was intrinsic and otherworldly. I never had a thought of "oh this is a cool creature" nor was I exposed to any information about wolves before my fascination started. I am reminded of stories my parents would tell of how I'd be captivated for hours by wolf imagery when I was very young (younger than 6). As I grew older I began collecting such imagery, attempting to surround myself with wolves. I think still through my 20's and early 30's it felt like I just really liked wolves, and I thought nothing else of it.

In my early-mid 30's I started actively incorporating this into my public identity, via a legal name change, and declarative association (a common theme in the gay community where being called a "bear" or "otter" was once based on physical traits, now more of an identity, I insisted that I am a wolf). But as I've grown closer to wolf and look back at my life through the lens of acquired wisdom, I realize I wasn't just collecting trinkets; I was surrounding myself with animals I identified with. I'd call this component spiritual (nature).

I never had a self-discovery period. I've always felt I was just me. I was born awkwardly. I never needed to discover my therian identity, it was always expressed in some way whether I was paying attention or not.

So I guess my origin story is:
I was born feeling I don't fit in with the humans around me.

What makes me believe that I am a therian:
This mixed human/wolf identity is who I have always been.

I’m of two minds about why I’m a therian, spiritual and psychological.

I’m a heathen, and my spiritual theory is rooted in the concept of the multi-part soul. I believe that one of the components of my soul is that of lynx. Whether that means it was part of a lynx before it was part of me, or was “made” for a lynx or is just lynx-shaped, I don’t know. It may also be either rooted in or the cause of my connection to Freya, since she’s often associated with felines.

My psychological theory, which I honestly think is more likely, is that it’s rooted in my AuDHD and social anxiety, and consequent relative isolation or at least insulation from humans. I do still identify as partly human, I just don’t get along with or understand most of them. Anyway, I think that could be the root of my animality, although why a Canada lynx specifically is beyond me. I love cats now, but I was not a fan as a child. I had a bad experience with a cat when I was 5 or 6 (my fault) and was wary of them until I met my now-wife. The only reasonable justification I can think of is that maybe I just felt like an animal, and being specifically a Canada lynx was ex post facto because of how closely my personality, behaviors, and instincts align with them. I’m not sure though, for a few reasons. First, Canada lynx wouldn’t have been my first or even fifth choice, even subconsciously I believe. I even had a bit of difficulty admitting it to myself. I held on to some other potential theriotypes for far longer than I should have for honestly petty reasons, in the face of convincing evidence. When I eventually read about bobcats and Eurasian lynxes I felt a connection or kinship with them, but when I read about the Canada lynx (which I hadn’t even known existed prior) I felt something way stronger, culminating in a full mental shift. And yet it still took quite a while for me to admit it to myself. I’m sure there’s a reasonable psychological explanation for identifying as an animal that I was previously unaware of and would have preferred to not be, but I’m not aware of it.

As a side note, I have made peace with being a Canada lynx. I don’t wish to be a different animal anymore.