Why is the Therian/Kin community important to you?

(2022-10-23 17:13)Taguel Wrote:  

(2022-10-23 16:19)WolfThing Wrote:  The fact that you commented on a post about why the community is important to you, then state that it isn't important to you, frankly proves that is is important to you...don't you think? I stuggle to understand bringing drama to a thread like this, but it does make me smile seeing you contradict yourself. Because you want to see a change you feel is important. I'm glad because that means some kinda way you care.

I was not attempting to bring drama into this thread. I was trying to make my voice heard because I have stated on many occasions that I don't feel like my voice is heard. If you are interpreting it as me attempting drama, then I will need to rethink my words and perceived tone of my post. I think it would be wise for your to rethink your tone as well because your reply comes off as very patronizing and condescending. The way you are talking to me is pretty much a text book example of why I feel like I don't belong here. You are talking to me like I am naïve and ignorant and I am not sure why. I understand that tone is often misconstrued over text though.

Quote:What will YOU do to see the changes you wish? If you continue to openly share your arguments, experiences and perspectives without being swayed by opposition you may receive the community as a whole can eventually understand better, and as a result change. But sitting and judging the way predator type therians nmay naturally exist does nothing for that change.

What do you suggest I do? If I share my opinion and viewpoint, I get replies like this telling me that I am wrong and trying to act as though the other person knows my thoughts and feelings more than I do. After a while, you start to learn that people either don't value your opinion or they think they know better and talk over you and tell you you're wrong. I don't feel the need to fight with people online over whether or not my viewpoints about my experience are correct.

Your response was basically a perfect example of why I have retreated greatly from this community. You listened to nothing I said and instead tried to act like you knew better than I do and basically put a majority of the blame on my shoulders for not wanting to interact with people who don't listen to me, talk over me, and clearly do not take me or my thoughts seriously because they think they know better.

Maybe it is a trait of being a prey kin-type, but I keep getting negative reactions and outcomes to my attempts to socialize with carnivores, I am just going to avoid them. The therian community is important to you, but in your words, what will YOU do to make it welcoming and safe to ALL therians, not just wolves and carnivores? To me, a prey type surrounded by predators, the therian community is almost completely tailored and suited for predator types. Even the language that is used is carnivore focused (howls, packs, etc.).

I respect that the therian community is important to you and I am happy it is. At the same time, making a thread like this opens the field up for people who have a differing opinion than you to enter the conversation. If that is not your intention, then you are looking only to communicate with people who share your viewpoint and then we are circling right back to my original statement of how I do not feel heard or have respected viewpoints.

I have no problems with your differing opinions. I pointed out your clear contradictions. You say you don't care about the community and then go on to comment and say you would like to see changes in it. Is that not what took place? I said nothing that did not happen. As for everything else I can recognize that my directness can come off a certain way and do try to mitigate that, but I have also spent too much off my life under the thumb of people who sort of put people down for having certain levels of confidence.

Or being rough around the edges due to their experiences in life. They throw words like empathy around and feign as if they always have moral high ground over everyone else, they act as if their stuff doesn't stink.

At no point did I say you were wrong about anything. Where did I? I simply stated it sounds contradictory to make a comment that you don't care, but take actions as if you do care. Even now you say you don't feel the need to argue your view points, yet you are. And the hypocrisy of pointing out something you don't like, but then saying you will do nothing about it is nothing more than drama starting. It offers no solution just you pointing fingers.

So now I do not hold my own tongue or sugar coat my thoughts or passion.

I hear your points and while I do not agree with them, I respect your right to share them. I do not think we are going to see eye to eye on this matter. If you would like to discuss ways that the community can be more comfortable for prey/herbivore types, please let me know. Otherwise, I believe we will have to agree to disagree on this point. I don't think there is more that can be said that will not devolve this conversation into an argument because, personally, I feel angry and upset, so I am going to step out and allow the thread to continue as it was intended.

@Taguel

I think your perspective is important and I'd like to see you stick around. I find that empathy is a limited resource which consumes energy and people only have so much of it. This is something I struggle with a lot as a trait of my dead "kintype." It's easier for wolves to empathize with other wolves than with rabbits. I understand your feelings of alienation and I'm sorry you feel your perspective is not taken seriously. There are some things that have upset me about people's attitudes at times too.

On the other hand, for a very empathetic person it can be hard to set boundaries and it becomes very draining. That could put you on the defensive because you feel exhausted already. I get this defensiveness of being more easily irritated and shutting people out to conserve energy. It might help you feel better if you consider whether there are things in your personal life where you could establish better boundaries.

yous exaggerate the importance of the community.
..

and lash out at participants whose opinion does not coincide with yours.
which also doesn't fit the definition of "community".

(2022-10-23 17:58)Pushy zver Wrote:  yous exaggerate the importance of the community.

@WolfThing and you Pushy: Please calm your emotions. Take 30 minutes and come back to it with a cool head. I have archived your argument.

I think people often misunderstand Pushy (myself included), because he says things that seem to be meaningless or obvious, etc. He's just stating his opinion on the topic and if it doesn't mean anything to you, you can safely ignore it.

In this case the context of his words is that in the Russian therian community, the importance of the community itself is much less pronounced than in the west. In effect, they call our brand of Therianthropy a subculture / fan club, kinda like the furry community.

I have considered both perspectives and it seems somewhat reasonable, because the core of therianthropy is in fact the therian experience itself and the culture of it (therian gear, packs and activities like quadrobics) shouldn't play a role. I think there is something to be gained from mutual understanding here.

LP,
Dusty

For me, connecting with others helps me to feel more safe and comfortable, really.

The therian community is very important to me as it has helped me make friends that are like me.

I am not a big fan of negativity spreading, so usually my thoughts are never getting voiced. It's OK to have another opinion, it's OK to respect the opinion of others. I'll try to understand other's opinions, I think it can come after some time. Some therians want to be realistic, some want to be positive ( it's usually equal to being naïve), and it's OK too. The worst we can do is pointing out our differences and try to deal with them. I don't think that community have tendency to change in a big way. If you are looking for another community and you don’t like this one, good luck with that! We can see opportunities of the community we’re in and avoid unpleasant things, or abstract from them.I am just sharing my thoughts, no offence. I like the way Therian Guide works. Not ideal, with lots of freedom of speech but with some obvious boundaries. I like that. Kinda balanced.

Hmm. The top of this page says that I last visited Therian Guide on 23-03-2022, so... just shy of 9 months ago. Oops. (I don't even remember if I posted then; it's certainly longer to when I was last consistently active.)

Outside of this forum, I'm not particularly active in the "therian community". Don't get me wrong, I'd be interested to go to a howl, I like talking with people, etc. But... part of it is, I never put the effort into finding more of the community or other places to participate. Part of it is I get busy with life. Part of it is, my therianthropy is a very personal experience and sometimes it's just easier to not bother with other people if their experience is too different (or even worse, they want to make a claim about which of us has the "right" view of my own experience).

When I do check in, it's nice to see other people's perspectives on things and learn. It's nice to see when other folks have similar experiences. I like feeling like I'm not totally alone in my weird feelings. But it's certainly... I've gone long stretches without any of those things, and that's fine too. I think it's a bit of a stretch to call the community "important" to me when I'm only around a few times a year. If I do stay for a while, though, these would be the reasons why.

(2022-12-18 6:57)kaiyoht Wrote:  Hmm. The top of this page says that I last visited Therian Guide on 23-03-2022, so... just shy of 9 months ago. Oops. (I don't even remember if I posted then; it's certainly longer to when I was last consistently active.)

Outside of this forum, I'm not particularly active in the "therian community". Don't get me wrong, I'd be interested to go to a howl, I like talking with people, etc. But... part of it is, I never put the effort into finding more of the community or other places to participate. Part of it is I get busy with life. Part of it is, my therianthropy is a very personal experience and sometimes it's just easier to not bother with other people if their experience is too different (or even worse, they want to make a claim about which of us has the "right" view of my own experience).

When I do check in, it's nice to see other people's perspectives on things and learn. It's nice to see when other folks have similar experiences. I like feeling like I'm not totally alone in my weird feelings. But it's certainly... I've gone long stretches without any of those things, and that's fine too. I think it's a bit of a stretch to call the community "important" to me when I'm only around a few times a year. If I do stay for a while, though, these would be the reasons why.

I definitely get you on the the not wanting to be bothered with the people that claim there is a right or wrong therianthopy view or experience lol. Or feel there is some competition to appear the most "realistic" therian or something *eye role*. Honestly there's many things I find annoying, and off putting myself that people do. But there is good and I'm not even really here for just myself at this point. Welcome back, for now anyway.