Self awareness and introspection- Why you might not be therian/kin

I agree to some of the points DustWolf brought up here in this latest addition. Yes, sometimes letting someone feel they're going to lose a friend because they're not fully capable of proving their therianthropy can hurt. I believe that the vulnerability of such a person should be taken into account there. Honestly, take me for example. I did most of my introspection before I joined any community whatsoever, until it became clear to me that this was the community to go to. After having met several people there, the fear of having to give them all up because of an identity matter, stung painfully. This is not a contest for proof or a competition to see who manages to hold up their story the best or the longest. This fear not to belong here (or anywhere, for that matter) may be real for some. After all, some of us are emotionally scarred or mentally imbalanced, so I consider it to be a good thing if we approach these matters delicately with each person.

So yeah, I get the competition spirit that the younger people are prone to have. Nobody likes to be excluded or kicked out because of a different viewpoint on life.

If I'm saying I feel uncomfortable about things related to therianthropy, this doesn't necessarily have to mean I'm to be kicked out. It just means my take on it differs. You never know the person behind the words, or who's expressing it or what their experiences may have been. For all we know, we may per accident ban a person who was both genuine and well informed.

Questions. Many people don't like being questioned because that requires them to look inward and examine themselves and they just want blind obedience and belief to their claims and not have to expect questions.

I was on a forum not too long ago and this kid said "I am quite literally a freakin' lion!" so I asked an innocent question, I asked "So if I seen you on the street, would I see an actual lion and how do people react?" as well as some other questions that I felt were quite legitimate.
Boy I got my tush raked over the coals for not being 'accepting' and being demeaning or some such rot.

Look, the thing is that if you are going to make some rather obviously outlandish statements then you had best better be prepared to answer some questions but it also helps if you also understand the words you are using because there are those out there who actually do.

If someone tells you on a forum that you are literally (meaning actual and real) a, say, a badger then at some point people are going to request some clarification and getting mortally offended is not going to help you in the least.

As for kids, I have seen too many that take to the role-playing bit and insist they are this or that and if you dare ask questions then you're being intolerant and unaccepting of others. Years ago I seen some kid insisting he was a character from a game and got furious if we didn't blindly accept his assertions. None of his explanations were original in the least as all he did was repeat a game script and did not deviate in the least....refusing to face reality is a hindrance and all it does is make you the butt of jokes.

Experiences are a personal issue and vary greatly but sadly many of them have been shoved into a neat and strict little cubby hole that tells you that if you are not growling or running on all fours or feeling this or that or that your therian nature is not following a strict script then you aren't therian or whatever.

That said kids still need to be educated that feeling like you want to dwell in a cave or eat raw meat doesn't automatically mean you are a wolf, bear, dragon or a yeti because humans are still a part of nature and at one point our evolutionary ancestors had to take shelter in caves and before someone figured out what fire was, ate meat raw and those aspects still dwell in our biological make-up.

In short, if someone asks a question, it is not because they are wanting to judge you by what they think but rather want to know how you are defining things. It doesn't matter if you cannot render a detailed report but you should still be able to give a better answer than "I dunno, I just do".

Thanks. Now I need coffee because my brain is now in limp mode.

I agree with Bag's initial post. Pups, and everyone for that matter, please do your research and introspect about your feelings and experiences!

Additionally, there is a huge difference between questioning and grilling someone. Questioning is an attempt to correct misused terms and their definitions and to help a newcomer think critically about themselves. Hopefully in doing so, the newcomer re-evaluates their experiences in order to communicate and then participate in the community.

Years ago, grilling tended to be done aggressively, to force people to learn. It was often met with kneejerk reactions of angry outbursts from newcomers who were confused and already questioning themselves. The initial reaction of this tends to be "but why don't you just believe me?!?" Because you need to prove you are what you say you are; the community doesn't need to automatically believe you just because you say so. Think of it like when a parent says to you "because I said so". I know for me, that never worked and I always questioned it. So if someone questions you, just think about it and then answer. And it's okay to simply say "I don't know" or "I'm confused".

When I first joined the community I was grilled. It was harsh, and at the time scary and frustrating because in order to be accepted within the group, I had to have answers. To get those answers, I had to look within and track my experiences. While it certainly wasn't fun, it did help me to think critically about my experiences and why I thought I was a therian.

If someone questions you or even grills you, just explain yourself as best as you can. Most members of the community are willing to give newcomers the benefit of the doubt, but the newcomers in turn must be willing to listen and learn.

Critical thinking and questioning to learn are never bad things!