On CWs, TWs, PSAs and "safe spaces"

(2021-03-30 4:37)Tdae Wrote:  

(2021-03-29 23:23)Saoirse Fiain Wrote:  It's a sticky situation, that's for sure. I've been harassed for pointing out things such as "typing quirks" which seems to be the new hip and cool trend on the net. One person in a server that I'm in has their alter, or as they call it, "headmate" replace letters with numbers making the words hard as hell to read. When I asked them to type normally I was told that "they can't control it" and that I was gatekeeping.

It's things like this that make me skeptical of every person I meet who says that they have alters. I know there are people out there who really do have DID, and to those who do, you have my condolences, having to deal with fakers and liars and all. I suppose this is kind of swaying off topic, but I do find that the people who fake having alternate personalities and the people who require that you use CWs and TWs tend to be in the same crowd.

[...]

If a person has DID and is serious about about treatment, then any (capable) alter is responsible for the system. They are responsible for their alters' actions even if they cannot control or cannot remember. They are responsible for learning to gain better communication and cooperation and helping the ones that have trauma/behavior issues.

Different alters in a system might have different language styles and different levels of skills at typing. But I think someone using numbers instead of letters and refusing to type clearly because "they can't control it" is just being an ass. There could be some genuine reason the alter likes to type in a cryptic way, but even if it's genuine they're clearly not trying to figure it out.

[...]

There's the slimmest chance the typing quirk thing traces back to Homestuck somehow. Which... I guess all things considered, if I tried to picture where the average person-who-was-a-little-too-into-Homestuck would be these days, I could pretty easily believe "somehow involved in DID spaces" as one of the options.

I mean how widespread is that as a thing, though? Like... I don't know, I guess I just don't go to all the same corners of the internet as y'all.

---

Look, I'm generally a patient coyote. If someone does something and it doesn't hurt me, I'll be hard-pressed to care all that much. If someone asks me to do something small, and it doesn't take me out of my way to do it, then sure, no fur off my back to do it. My experience has been, generally, I stay pretty agreeable, folks respond to that. I can believe that people who would turn a small mistake into a huge problem are out there (or like, people who misapply concerns to places that don't really make sense if you put any thought into it), but I guess I've been lucky to not really encounter them much.

Generally speaking, for the sorts of things that I couldn't reasonably ever expect anyone else to know would upset me, because it's tied to personal stuff, of course I'm not gonna get mad at someone if they didn't give me a heads up about it first. That's my responsibility to step back a second and keep hold of myself. That being said, I dunno, most of how I see TW stuff is just... pretty straightforward? Like, images of violence, NSFW stuff, the sorts of things where it makes sense to give a more general heads up. Again, maybe I'm just not in the right places to see folks taking things to an extreme, but... the ways I've seen it deployed seem to be pretty reasonable. It's not that weird to take into account the audience you're speaking to before you figure out exactly how you're going to say the thing you want to say -- I see this as largely an extension of that.

i mean, some things definitely is it good to put a warning on... like sexual assault, murder, slurs, suicide/self harm or other topics that people may have legitimate trauma about. thought some people do take this too far to where it's just stupid, like- "TW, bugs!!" just because some people get uncomfortable seeing bugs?? but that doesn't mean it needs a whole warning. and even- really anything COULD be triggering to someone, but if we try to consider everything that COULD be triggering or uncomfortable, we would put a warning on literally everything! for example, some show i saw featured a woman who had trauma about the sound of her shower running, but we can't go around putting warnings on everything that has a shower in it because of her.

(2021-03-31 0:14)WolfdogPaws Wrote:  i mean, some things definitely is it good to put a warning on... like sexual assault, murder, slurs, suicide/self harm or other topics that people may have legitimate trauma about. thought some people do take this too far to where it's just stupid, like- "TW, bugs!!" just because some people get uncomfortable seeing bugs?? but that doesn't mean it needs a whole warning. and even- really anything COULD be triggering to someone, but if we try to consider everything that COULD be triggering or uncomfortable, we would put a warning on literally everything! for example, some show i saw featured a woman who had trauma about the sound of her shower running, but we can't go around putting warnings on everything that has a shower in it because of her.

So again, my caveat here is, I have not personally encountered folks asking for trigger warnings for things like bugs, and most of the times I do see people talking about such cases, it's... just that, people talking about such cases, in the abstract.

My suspicion though, is that when folks do see this happen (because I can certainly believe that there are spaces where folks would ask for such a warning), I wonder if it's more common in -- mmm, how to put this delicately -- spaces with a higher proportion of folks who don't have as much, uh, life experience. Younger folks, I mean. And that, as they get older, as they interact with a wider set of people, and as they interact with more people in different settings outside of those sorts of spaces, they might, well, change how they understand that dynamic. It's pretty easy for me to believe there's folks out there who would participate in this sort of thing, meaning well and trying to be helpful, but not necessarily coming from a place of, well, fully understanding that sometimes things get messy (and that sometimes things *have* to get messy for progress to get made).

(2021-03-31 10:24)kaiyoht Wrote:  

(2021-03-31 0:14)WolfdogPaws Wrote:  i mean, some things definitely is it good to put a warning on... like sexual assault, murder, slurs, suicide/self harm or other topics that people may have legitimate trauma about. thought some people do take this too far to where it's just stupid, like- "TW, bugs!!" just because some people get uncomfortable seeing bugs?? but that doesn't mean it needs a whole warning. and even- really anything COULD be triggering to someone, but if we try to consider everything that COULD be triggering or uncomfortable, we would put a warning on literally everything! for example, some show i saw featured a woman who had trauma about the sound of her shower running, but we can't go around putting warnings on everything that has a shower in it because of her.

So again, my caveat here is, I have not personally encountered folks asking for trigger warnings for things like bugs, and most of the times I do see people talking about such cases, it's... just that, people talking about such cases, in the abstract.

My suspicion though, is that when folks do see this happen (because I can certainly believe that there are spaces where folks would ask for such a warning), I wonder if it's more common in -- mmm, how to put this delicately -- spaces with a higher proportion of folks who don't have as much, uh, life experience. Younger folks, I mean. And that, as they get older, as they interact with a wider set of people, and as they interact with more people in different settings outside of those sorts of spaces, they might, well, change how they understand that dynamic. It's pretty easy for me to believe there's folks out there who would participate in this sort of thing, meaning well and trying to be helpful, but not necessarily coming from a place of, well, fully understanding that sometimes things get messy (and that sometimes things *have* to get messy for progress to get made).

I'm not sure your definition of younger but I've seen 24 year olds do this

(2021-03-31 13:58)HoneycombPup Wrote:  I'm not sure your definition of younger but I've seen 24 year olds do this

I mean I'd say 24 is maybe on the edge of folks should start figuring stuff out by then but like, yeah that's still relatively young.

Granted, given that definition, *a lot* of these online spaces skew, well, *very young* on the whole (and as far as I can tell TG is kinda a weird exception to that) but, still... 24 is not old. Even if I feel a little old sometimes

I can understand the dissatisfaction with Trigger warnings, content warnings, and such.
Honestly, these type of conversations are good because you can learn so much from varying points of views.
I get it can seem that the idea is pushy and very sensitive, I mean you can always leave if the content troubles you.

Though from the other side they could be using the warnings for those who could be dealing with trauma, easily sickened by the sight of blood or harm, or simply dealing with topics that involve suicide or even eating disorders.

After all, mental health isn't that easy and seeing/reading something can either trigger relapse or unwanted memories.
Especially if your anxiety increases.

Although, like PD said, reading the word next to the TW can still bring its own form of stress.
So it doesn't really help fully.

But in a group I run for mental health, we do put TW with space to not see the content first.
Usually while some gets upset at reading the TW..
Others who are Triggered will be able to quickly scroll past without inducing any real bad reaction.
After all, it is still an early warning to what the post contents hold.

So I usually consider them to be quite helpfully, especially as someone who has been in those shoes.


However, that doesn't mean a TW or CW needs to be on every post.
And especially when it isn't really anything to be needing a TW or CW.
Like those TW common words which is not needed or TW topics that is not bad.
Most of the time if uncomfortable, you can leave or just jump out of the convo for that period of time.
TW or CW should be used and reserved for topics that can really be detrimental to your health if viewed.
But only if the person wants too.

After all, you won't learn anything if you force TW/CW on every discomfortable topic and it prevents good discussion, as it can scare those away when not needed.



Of course as mentioned this changes according to public vs private spaces.
Groups and Discords are more likely to have TW as it is a closed space where others feel a sense of belonging and safety.
Unless of course those in your closed space share same interest and do not need a TW.
Versus a public platform like Twitter where anyone can post and are not locked to a single area of interest.



In other words-
If someone does post and gives a TW, great, skip by it and feel free to take care.
If someone does post but doesn't give a TW, don't force them too, take a step back and calm down or skip.
(Unless rules state different, then a TW might be best)
If you are triggered though, maybe it is time to rest from your device for the day, and do something that is better for your mental health overall.
If you don't want to get off, simply do something else like go watch YT or play a game.

Just be nice about it, ya know?
Respect others decisions and boundaries on what they want to do.

There is also a button to refrain from seeing something.
Not interested, back arrow, block, etc.

To end my long repetitive comment-
Personal choice really plays here and no one is held to a responsibility to keep your health in check.
Especially since no one should feel bad to post something they like, take for example Vulture Culture.
Do what is best for you and what you personally feel better doing.

Either way, follow the rules, and be a sport.


At least I hope I make sense haha.

I've read all comments above and just want to put in my reasoning.
As someone who didn't think they were ever traumatized....well as an adult that changed. I always appreciate TW such as self harm, or things similar in severity to that. Some TW I give based on what I think is applicable to those reading.

I think that TWs and CWs are important in serious topics like SH. I personally like SH trigger warnings because the mention of it can sometimes bring SH urges that are hard to fight. I generally lose those battles... Another thing, having TWs for things that may cause negative shifts. Negative shifts don't generally go away because alterhumanity doesn't go away. Having negative shifts triggered is hard for the individual, and no matter how many times they have negative shifts triggered, they probably won't change based upon the experience of one's negative shifting. That means negative shifts don't heal because they don't go away. I had a negative shift triggered by the hunting of my theriotype. I was shaking whimpering, and hyperventilating. In serious content, put a CW or a TW.

Reading through this... I wouldn't say I disagree that the TW/CW thing has gotten out of hand, but we do recognize the need for warnings in certain cases. As others have already stated, stuff such as SH, specific mental health issues, et cetera is all good to warn about for those who are genuinely triggered by it.

And yet, at the same time, there is stuff that we genuinely get triggered by that we just ignore? Like, we have PTSD, and there's certain topics relating to that which we hate being around or talking about, but we just kinda let it happen? It's not like the feelings are going away whether we see it or not, so we don't really care about that stuff. For others though it might be a bigger deal, so my opinion is that if it's something that is widely known to have potential for causing serious mental distress, then a TW is justified. Otherwise, if someone wants to warn about something, then that's fine, so long as they don't expect others to warn for it, too (and get mad when they don't).

Basically, TW/CW have their place, but that place is not plastered in every post.

(2023-11-16 1:05)WerewolfPack Wrote:  And yet, at the same time, there is stuff that we genuinely get triggered by that we just ignore? Like, we have PTSD, and there's certain topics relating to that which we hate being around or talking about, but we just kinda let it happen? It's not like the feelings are going away whether we see it or not, so we don't really care about that stuff. For others though it might be a bigger deal, so my opinion is that if it's something that is widely known to have potential for causing serious mental distress, then a TW is justified. Otherwise, if someone wants to warn about something, then that's fine, so long as they don't expect others to warn for it, too (and get mad when they don't).

IRL (think like... For a job interview) you would be expected to cope with it to the degree that other people don't have to moderate their speech for you to remain composed.

We have the same basic expectation.

LP,
Dusty