(2023-10-24 2:55)Tdae Wrote:  This is well thought out and written. Nice work.

I just want to maybe rant a little bit about the idea that therianthropy could be a “coping mechanism” since this comes up sometimes. As someone who experienced myself as a dead wolf in the aftereffects of trauma, I don't like it when people compare therianthropy to a coping mechanism. It has to do with the self or soul and it goes deeper than a coping mechanism.

I feel that to compare therianthropy to a coping mechanism is like saying we developed lungs to “cope with” the air. It's sort of true in evolution or if you're amphibian, but it's not how we think of it. We have lungs because it's necessary to live and not because we're just coping with the air. And that's how I think of therianthropy as a “coping mechanism” even if it can be maybe true. I prefer to call it a developmental adaptation if applicable, like lungs are a developmental adaptation. There is different terminology (coping kin or coping link) for people who might role play as animals or something like that as a coping mechanism.

I really like this! I think the term 'developmental adaptation' actually fits better to what I believe as well, I just didn't think of it in that particular light before (and/or didn't have the right words to describe it). I may go in and change the wording of my guide tomorrow to reflect that, or at least add it in.

Thankyou so much for your input!

This is well thought out and written. Nice work.

I just want to maybe rant a little bit about the idea that therianthropy could be a “coping mechanism” since this comes up sometimes. As someone who experienced myself as a dead wolf in the aftereffects of trauma, I don't like it when people compare therianthropy to a coping mechanism. It has to do with the self or soul and it goes deeper than a coping mechanism.

I feel that to compare therianthropy to a coping mechanism is like saying we developed lungs to “cope with” the air. It's sort of true in evolution or if you're amphibian, but it's not how we think of it. We have lungs because it's necessary to live and not because we're just coping with the air. And that's how I think of therianthropy as a “coping mechanism” even if it can be maybe true. I prefer to call it a developmental adaptation if applicable, like lungs are a developmental adaptation. There is different terminology (coping kin or coping link) for people who might role play as animals or something like that as a coping mechanism.

Thanks for the help!

@B3W1tch3dSparr0w @hexabranchus @Milo_N_Sons
(I can't figure out how to multi-quote, so I will just tag each of you )

Thankyou so much for the positive responses! I'm not going to lie, I was a little worried about how this guide would be perceived (as it definitely jumps /right/ into some less-than-fun misconceptions) but I'm glad that it seems I worded myself well enough!

It's in the public area of the forums, so I'm hoping that it will be seen by those who most need it.

Yes, I would recommend thinking for a week at minimum

I'll be honest and direct, and I feel like a guide on this subject is quite a slippery slope. It's not too much different than sexuality and the kind of reactions one can get and there are many reasons for one to never, ever even consider telling a person about these things. Just think about the horror stories about people being disowned for being gay. Even though sexuality and therianthropy are different on a surface level, they may be more alike than one would expect as it covers the core identity of an individual and it can both lead to strong reactions from people.

If someone isn't absolutely certain their parents would react open minded about it, it could wreak more havoc than it would do good. Especially for the largest age category on this site between 12-17 I feel like they have most to lose from telling it as they're still very reliant on their parents. Also, I fail to see how parents could offer support in regard to therianthropy. I told my boyfriend with who I live together, and it helps me in many ways, but I could not imagine a way I would benefit from it by telling my parents, not ten years ago, not now.

So yeah, if someone reads this and considers telling their parents, I have one thing to say: Once the genie's out of the bottle, it can't be put back, so think it well through.

There's a lot of things to unpack here, and while this is great for most kids, not everyone wears gear and a lot of us are adults. I do have gear, but most do not. You don't even need to come out to family to be honest, but if you feel you must, you can go right ahead. My family knows I'm therian after having a initially negative response to therians in general, and they're fine with it.

If you are reading this you are probably wondering how to tell your parents you are a Therian/otherkin.

First you want to make sure this is what you want, you deserve to do anything you feel is best for you and others. It's not what you feel is best for you then you can just keep it to yourself if you want

Second you should try to guess if their reaction will be good or bad if it's bad maybe you should hold off for a moment... Or in my case forever :,)

Next I would probably do some thing like ask them to Google search it or something if you're young but if you're a little older like 14-16 or something then you can ask them their opinion on Therians

Then Then you can gradually start wearing your gear around them if you don't have any gear then you can start doing quads around them
And if they're saying not to do that or like that it's cringe or whatever and you should probably tell your friends instead and not your parents or something I don't know that's what I would do

Finally finally you are going to try to tell them either by texting or telling them in person or something along those lines

But I don't know how it's gonna go so don't blame me if anything goes wrong but if it does then I will definitely be there to help you <3

(2023-10-22 12:43)Unknown_Therian Wrote:  So I think I had a phantom shift? I was looking at my shadow, and I felt like it was meant to have a tail and maybe(?) ears? Not wearing tails can make me feel horrible and upset, but mostly, I feel completely fine.

Sounds more like dysphoria! Dysphoria is when you feel uncomfortable in your own body and like there’s something seriously wrong or missing. This can include stuff like what you described such as feeling like certain aspects should be part of your body when they aren’t actually.

Phantom shifts more or so feel like the limb is *actually* physically there

This is an amazing guide and super well worded!!