(2024-03-09 1:35)Phantom_Terrier Wrote:  I might be coming at a bit of a different angle for this topic -given that I've been looking into the community for only ∼6 months, but one thing that almost put me off entirely from the community was the rampant lack of introspection.

I poked around a few other therian spaces before TG, and was told several times that even considering I could be a therian meant I fell into some sort of non-human category. That sort of logic made me extremely uncomfortable and I almost dropped the idea of being a therian completely. Thank goodness for the public TG boards that showed me some critical thinking was going into being a therian.

I've heard that the grilling in the community used to be quite intense, but there most certainly is some balance between asking questions ruthlessly and doing so in a way that encourages self-reflection. A community is meant to benefit the many, and that can only happen when individuals are truthful with themselves.

I had a similar situation. Being a very literal person, I thought to myself “well obviously I’m human, that’s my species, I know that”, but I still felt like something was different. I’ve always felt too animalistic, too nature oriented, too unlike humans to fit in. But TG showed me to take a step back and really ask myself if I had any non-human behaviors or instincts. And I actually found that I do. And spiritual therianthropy isn’t much talked about outside of reincarnation, but on here I met some spiritual therians with different stories which helped me realize my spiritual “tie” to my home planet.

I might be coming at a bit of a different angle for this topic -given that I've been looking into the community for only ∼6 months, but one thing that almost put me off entirely from the community was the rampant lack of introspection.

I poked around a few other therian spaces before TG, and was told several times that even considering I could be a therian meant I fell into some sort of non-human category. That sort of logic made me extremely uncomfortable and I almost dropped the idea of being a therian completely. Thank goodness for the public TG boards that showed me some critical thinking was going into being a therian.

I've heard that the grilling in the community used to be quite intense, but there most certainly is some balance between asking questions ruthlessly and doing so in a way that encourages self-reflection. A community is meant to benefit the many, and that can only happen when individuals are truthful with themselves.

(2024-03-08 20:17)TherianRose Wrote:  I'd also like to highlight that relating to aspects of an animal or character does not a theriotype make. Characters especially are written with the goal of getting the audience to see themselves in that person - they're often exaggerated and can even be stereotypical, and wouldn't hold up well outside of their specific world's circumstances.

I absolutely understand it can feel like you are or want to be like someone. I've had those feelings as well! But please, be cautious. Don't rush to cast aside what makes you unique to become more like what you think you should be. I buried parts of myself that I'm still learning to accept, and while I'm glad I'm able to work on that, I wish I had been kinder to myself sooner. Over time, you'll find comfort in being yourself instead of trying to emulate anyone else.

I think to understand what's going on here with the younger folk, we need to get into how they think and how we are different. So... at risk of doing a "hello fellow kids"... (Our younger members have recently reminded me that I am older than some of their parents, so excuse me while I struggle to understand your motivations. Please correct me if I'm wrong.)

I think the younger generation is feeling the stress of the world we live in these days. It's made parental attention harder to come by and it's made the various social pressures insurmountable. The reason the pups seem to shy away from any kind of challenge (to their beliefs) is because they're used to arguments with adults being hopeless.

In addition, I think one of the differences we have, is that the younger generation... having grown up with more intellectual freedom when they were younger are more aware of their appearance. How they appear is important to them personally. So one of the common mistakes made is that their online presence, rather than being genuine, is carefully curated and controlled.


So, for those of you who are younger, we adults kinda frown upon your attempts to control your image, because:

1. Your image is not really important. Nobody is going to kick you off TG because you don't look therian enough, or something. Even if someone doesn't believe you're a therian, or disagrees with you, that's just their opinion and it won't change anything.

2. You trying to control your identity is selfish. Your identity is determined by society (example: "police officer" is an identity. You're not really a police officer if you say you are or if you force other people to call you that, you are a police officer if society recognises that this is your job). And so it's not up to you to control your identity or force others to validate it.


So, you've heard me say I want you to be honest with yourself a hundred times. This is basically what I mean. The key to understanding your therianthropy (which, along with helping others do the same, should be the main reason why you are on Therian Guide), is to try and understand your own experiences.

Not experiences you claim you have, or a carefully curated identity you have chosen for yourself and want others to validate. But your own actual therian experiences, if you have them. If you don't, you're not a therian, but it's okay you can stay here and keep your friends, nobody is going to be angry or think less of you.

Just please be genuine and honest with yourself.

LP,
Dusty

(2024-03-08 20:52)DustWolf Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:47)Ashfur Wrote:  Or like how Animal Jam Classic and Play Wild have Bubble Chat!
Chicken Smoothie has this "COPPA User" thing where people under 13 can join and can view the forums, but they can't post on them or write their own trade messages (and maybe PMs but idk), and have to choose from premade messages. Maybe something like that could work for TG but I prefer the Kindergarten idea.

COPPA is a law and we have to abide by it as well. The only way people under 13 could be allowed to chat legally, would be with explicit parental permission.

But as far as read-only content goes. The forum I moved this thread to is that way. Those under 13 can already read this (and hopefully learn something).

LP,
Dusty

CS abides by the law as well, and besides, I like the kindergarten idea more. /nm

(removed links as per rules)

(2024-03-08 20:51)StormyPica Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:47)DustWolf Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:15)StormyPica Wrote:  I agree mostly. But honestly I am a little tired of having to tell everyone that I don't care if it's a phase (had to do this with non-related stuff a lot). If it is, it is. If it's not, it's not. I'm not harming anyone by putting a name to the experiences I've had my whole life, and I wouldn't be harming anyone if I grew out of it. A phase isn't less real than or inferior to a non-phase.

The main site guide has a section about whether or not it's just a phase in it's page dedicated to parents of (potential) therians:
https://therian-guide.com/index.php/8-Parents

the Guide Wrote:Q: Is this just a phase?
A: It is common for young teens to explore who they are and where they belong in the world, through trying on different identities. Some try on a therian identity, but then move on.

A rare few however find that being Therian is something they've always been inside and is something that defines them. For them, this is more than just a phase.

I feel this is mostly accurate and how I would approach this topic.

LP,
Dusty

I agree with this approach, I'm just used to adults using "phase" in a demeaning way, or to make fun of someone. Or treating phases like they are not beneficial much of the time. (I personally believe they are essential for self-discovery and should not be discouraged).

---

(2024-03-08 20:45)aaviiann Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:37)Bagera Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:32)aaviiann Wrote:  I strongly agree. I've only been in the community for about two years, but I'm still very able to pick up on the culture of "accept everyone, ask no questions".
Young pups tend to act as though asking questions is something offensive. An example; recently I had an otherhearted friend "awaken" as a therian, when they were asked why they believed this, they simply said "I've been having more shifts than normal." Any further questioning was shut-down as being mean and judgemental.
I wish there was more we could do to normalize asking questions and inspire introspection in people new to the community, but I'm not even sure how you'd start without just being called a dickhead.

The more people do it, the more normalized it becomes. It was once this way and it can become so again. Question people, but try to do it in the spirit of inquiry and not judgement. If people can't handle that, let them think you're a dick. This community is a place for education and self exploration. If people don't want to use it for its intended purpose, they can leave for all I care.

Of course; I'm just worried that pups outside of TG will refuse questions and simply block instead. The internet has taught them to be sensitive, so that is what the majority of them will do.

I little bit off topic, but I genuinely hate how sensitive certain parts of the internet (especially parts geared towards pups) are. It infuriates me, I was in one of those spaces for a couple years and everyone lacked critical thinking and just had the same arguments over and over again. Plus if I had any questions, or was confused (in a "please help me understand better" way), I'd be yelled at for being "bigoted".

---

I love learning, but learning was shamed there, and anything but immediate acceptance without questioning at all was deemed bigoted.

Agreed. When acceptance and validation is prioritized over logical thinking and genuine questions/validation, it ends up being less of a safe space and more of an echo chamber.

(2024-03-08 20:47)Ashfur Wrote:  Or like how Animal Jam Classic and Play Wild have Bubble Chat!
Chicken Smoothie has this "COPPA User" thing where people under 13 can join and can view the forums, but they can't post on them or write their own trade messages (and maybe PMs but idk), and have to choose from premade messages. Maybe something like that could work for TG but I prefer the Kindergarten idea.

COPPA is a law and we have to abide by it as well. The only way people under 13 could be allowed to chat legally, would be with explicit parental permission.

But as far as read-only content goes. The forum I moved this thread to is that way. Those under 13 can already read this (and hopefully learn something).

LP,
Dusty

(2024-03-08 20:47)DustWolf Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:15)StormyPica Wrote:  I agree mostly. But honestly I am a little tired of having to tell everyone that I don't care if it's a phase (had to do this with non-related stuff a lot). If it is, it is. If it's not, it's not. I'm not harming anyone by putting a name to the experiences I've had my whole life, and I wouldn't be harming anyone if I grew out of it. A phase isn't less real than or inferior to a non-phase.

The main site guide has a section about whether or not it's just a phase in it's page dedicated to parents of (potential) therians:
https://therian-guide.com/index.php/8-Parents

the Guide Wrote:Q: Is this just a phase?
A: It is common for young teens to explore who they are and where they belong in the world, through trying on different identities. Some try on a therian identity, but then move on.

A rare few however find that being Therian is something they've always been inside and is something that defines them. For them, this is more than just a phase.

I feel this is mostly accurate and how I would approach this topic.

LP,
Dusty

I agree with this approach, I'm just used to adults using "phase" in a demeaning way, or to make fun of someone. Or treating phases like they are not beneficial much of the time. (I personally believe they are essential for self-discovery and should not be discouraged).

(2024-03-08 20:45)aaviiann Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:37)Bagera Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:32)aaviiann Wrote:  I strongly agree. I've only been in the community for about two years, but I'm still very able to pick up on the culture of "accept everyone, ask no questions".
Young pups tend to act as though asking questions is something offensive. An example; recently I had an otherhearted friend "awaken" as a therian, when they were asked why they believed this, they simply said "I've been having more shifts than normal." Any further questioning was shut-down as being mean and judgemental.
I wish there was more we could do to normalize asking questions and inspire introspection in people new to the community, but I'm not even sure how you'd start without just being called a dickhead.

The more people do it, the more normalized it becomes. It was once this way and it can become so again. Question people, but try to do it in the spirit of inquiry and not judgement. If people can't handle that, let them think you're a dick. This community is a place for education and self exploration. If people don't want to use it for its intended purpose, they can leave for all I care.

Of course; I'm just worried that pups outside of TG will refuse questions and simply block instead. The internet has taught them to be sensitive, so that is what the majority of them will do.

I little bit off topic, but I genuinely hate how sensitive certain parts of the internet (especially parts geared towards pups) are. It infuriates me, I was in one of those spaces for a couple years and everyone lacked critical thinking and just had the same arguments over and over again. Plus if I had any questions, or was confused (in a "please help me understand better" way), I'd be yelled at for being "bigoted".

(2024-03-08 20:15)StormyPica Wrote:  I agree mostly. But honestly I am a little tired of having to tell everyone that I don't care if it's a phase (had to do this with non-related stuff a lot). If it is, it is. If it's not, it's not. I'm not harming anyone by putting a name to the experiences I've had my whole life, and I wouldn't be harming anyone if I grew out of it. A phase isn't less real than or inferior to a non-phase.

I think being comfortable with questioning is great, but I think many jump to the conclusion that you must be faking if you're uncomfortable with questioning. For me, certain types of questioning can be extremely triggering (due to trauma around being interrogated about other aspects of my identity) and then my brain kind of stops working because it can't handle the stress, which makes it near impossible to give a coherent or sensical answer (which in turn leads to more questioning and stress). I've found that people on here have been pretty nice about it once they realized, but I'm still scared that people may think I'm faking due to my difficulty with answering questions.

As mentioned on the discord (posting here so that others can read as well), I'm not trying to imply that it potentially being a phase is bad. It's a part of growing and learning about the self too. My emphasis was on the importance of keeping an open mind that it -could- be a phase, or that our initial thoughts could be incorrect. It can be easy for someone to get excited about something and then tack it on to their identity quickly, only for it to not feel like it fits some time later. Some people feel cognitive dissonance for this, or even shame, so they latch on to it even harder.

(2024-03-08 20:15)StormyPica Wrote:  I agree mostly. But honestly I am a little tired of having to tell everyone that I don't care if it's a phase (had to do this with non-related stuff a lot). If it is, it is. If it's not, it's not. I'm not harming anyone by putting a name to the experiences I've had my whole life, and I wouldn't be harming anyone if I grew out of it. A phase isn't less real than or inferior to a non-phase.

The main site guide has a section about whether or not it's just a phase in it's page dedicated to parents of (potential) therians:
https://therian-guide.com/index.php/8-Parents

the Guide Wrote:Q: Is this just a phase?
A: It is common for young teens to explore who they are and where they belong in the world, through trying on different identities. Some try on a therian identity, but then move on.

A rare few however find that being Therian is something they've always been inside and is something that defines them. For them, this is more than just a phase.

I feel this is mostly accurate and how I would approach this topic.

LP,
Dusty

(2024-03-08 20:42)aaviiann Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:25)DustWolf Wrote:  

(2024-03-08 20:12)Ashfur Wrote:  I love the idea of a TG "Kindergarten," maybe it'd lead to less misinfo spreading around... it'd also be nice to give pups and kits under the age of 13 their own space

Yes, it would be a therianthropy-themed play space, appropriate to the needs of people in that age bracket.

However it would have to be supervised as to avoid the issue described above happening to it (spaces like Amino and TikTok teach us that things usually turn ugly when kids are in charge of kids). However nobody I talked to of the adults has time for such a role, so we can't do it.

Here's an old post where I described the idea 4 years ago:
https://forums.therian-guide.com/Thread-A-Doggo-Manifesto?pid=182947#pid182947

LP,
Dusty

I think a fairly easy way to have an education space specifically for kids under 13 and not have to worry about them being moderated would be to have a small forum dedicated specifically to informational content about therianthropy that is easy to digest for a young audience. Something like how Webkinz chat used to work where there are premade messages they can send could be used. (ex. "What does this post mean?", "I am a cat!", "Thanks!", "I disagree.")

Or like how Animal Jam Classic and Play Wild have Bubble Chat!
Chicken Smoothie has this "COPPA User" thing where people under 13 can join and can view the forums, but they can't post on them or write their own trade messages (and maybe PMs but idk), and have to choose from premade messages. Maybe something like that could work for TG but I prefer the Kindergarten idea.