(2026-11-06 19:17)Savva Wrote: @StarDolphin
That's a really interesting experience! I do wonder, though: looking back, do you think you may have been somewhat alienated from your peers due to differences in your development, even if you didn't necessarily experience it as something negative? It sounds like you were quite aware of being ahead of your age intellectually, but also had friends you could share some of those interests and ideas with.
Perhaps you were a little out of step with other kids, but didn't feel particularly troubled by it. Both because being viewed as "ahead of your age" is typically considered as a positive, and especially given that you also found some companionship.
And I suppose it's fitting that you discovered yourself to be such a highly intelligent creature as a cetacean in the end! :]
Interesting question! It's so crazy looking back I really felt like I had my own ingroup, I wasn't popular by any means but I felt I had a place of belonging. But I wasn't "really" out. I thought i was though, but I realized my identity was seen as a quirky persona, maybe a furry thing rather than what it was.
It ultimately had its place but I think any therian can relate to the sense that it can feel superficial eventually. What I'm about to describe here can only really be compared to this feeling I've read time and time again about queer stories of coming out. They have seemingly loving circles .....and then.... they come out. And everyone is different to them.
I didn't think it was going to happen to me so I kind of casually came out. It wasn't the same as a lot of queer stories but it was like people pretended to support which was arguably worse. Only a handful friends survived the aftermath. And the new friends I made after are therian. I used to think we could be close to people who are different to us. I do not think that anymore.
Not because I'm not willing to understand new people but I read a study done by Harvard that says over 80 percent of people are NOT self aware, and it explained everything i felt all my life. that kind of knocked my hope in developing any deep relationships with anyone too different than me. It doesnt mean im not respectful, i just cant expect them to harbor the same empathy i will offer in the relationship.
people I saw had the same traits as my own immediately become deeper relationships and this is why ill NEVER shit on social media. I would be fucked without it so long live social media lmao.
It's often said relateablity is not really such a complex empathy. most people operate on being deeply connected by relateable reasons. But complex empathy , such as deep appreciation for something different from you, is not a hot commodity. It's not even a bold statement, it's the basis of all conflict in society. I'm just learning to accept it but it's so depressing to me. I love learning about different others but they very rarely extend the same depth to me. I still love learning about different experiences to my own, but I don't see it as a basis for deep friendship anymore. Maybe one person will come along and be an outlier but I had to learn to not expect empathy thay doesnt come from relateability from most people. That in itself feels alienating.
The sheer ability to empathize at a more abstract level is alienating, who fuxcking knew!? BUT it reminds me of people when they become known somehow. People are hungry to be seen, and consume attention ravenously, without considering the person for what they are, an artist. They don't see them with deep empathy beyond being able to provide them with a mirror of themselves, and that relateablity is what keeps them around. One pivot into a different subject and depending on how socially acceptable it is, you become inconvenient, hard to pinpoint or box, you're either gunna have em stick around or hate on your ideas , or even worse, you.
My favorite quote on this is this:
" be weird to us—but only the way we want. Be yourself ! but only in a way that we find to be equally comforting. Be cool enough to roll with us, but not so crazy that it makes us uncomfortable.”
I feel like 95% of my relationships have been this. Despite perceiving being belonging, all it took was to open my mouth to say something out of line enough. And after knowing this, well, I guess thats why I came back here to the therian community. Birds of a feather really do need to flock together.
So I think you can sometimes get into what I'm gunna call a pseudo-belonging and think you belong only after you say something weird enough you feel alienated if that makes sense.
And yes this is very funny that you mention cetacean intelligence. I'm concentrating my esay contributions on hyper abstract forms of empathy as a form of alienation - curiously, cetaceans have entire different areas in the brain for heightened empathy, fun fact~ I obviously don't possess these extra areas in my human form, and even as such it doesn't make me or other theriform cetaceans perfect lol -- but I find it ironic that I experience this depth of emotion that seems to be oceans deep, and i am aware of others in this way. It's affected even my search not just for friendships, but for a partner. I will expect no less than another Cetacean partner at this point, we can get lost in the oceanic abyss together : D