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Apology
DustWolf
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Post: #1
Apology
Hello,

This was posted on my journal last month, but I'm putting it in an announcement to help clear things up and to work on moving on from those events.





Hello everybody,

In the days before all this drama happened, I screwed up.

I made a few very mean and unjustified comments towards TG member Vintage. I was also very mean towards Zefer who tried to do his job as a mod. And I unjustly banned Azi and Xia.

I later abused my admin powers and deleted my messages in the attempt of reducing the consequences of my actions. I have also gaslighted the people who were hurt by my actions.

The next day, LycanTheory found the aftermath and tried to put a stop to it, so he banned my account for a week and made a post about my behaviour on the staff forums. I again abused my access to the TG database, to change what Lycan’s post said and to reverse and later remove the ban.

While I was careful not to do any permanent technical damage to TG with my actions, where I was clearly able to, this does not make my behaviour acceptable. I admit to everything that I have done and I wish to apologize to all those whom my actions affected.

This is not simply me saying “I’m sorry” because I have to. Or words on a screen. I am sorry and I know what I did, and how I treated my actions, was wrong. I hope you can forgive me, and more importantly, I hope my apology heals some of what I have destroyed.


The reasons for my actions were emotional.

As you may know, I take care of many of the technical chores that maintain TG. I have a great sense of responsibility and I have always been careful to be very professional about how I manage TG.

However, TG is not just a job to me, it is also a home. And in my home, here on the other side of the world in my country, it is expected that if you value what somebody does, you show this by looking for what burdens them and working to make them more comfortable.

I have had a lot of people tell me, that they value what I do for TG, but for years I was alone with my problems of managing TG, despite every effort to involve the others on the staff. I’m a pack animal and I hate being alone.
But there are completely understandable reasons for why I was alone: TG staff are mostly adults and we all tend to have very little time to spare after work and obligations, for everything we would like to do. Life has been going tougher for everybody on the staff for a while now, and everybody has had very little time to come to TG and help me.

I have been trying to tell people in my own way, what I have been going through, and to passively encourage them, to show me the kind of support I expected for all my hard work in accordance with my culture, but nothing has ever improved.

When finally, a few people on the staff brought up how much they hate the place where I live, the EU, my mind skipped ahead with the realization that there is probably nobody here, who can understand my feelings (most TG members are from the USA, or admire the USA culture more than their own). So I became unprofessional and did what I did.

These reasons do not excuse what I did, but hopefully they do explain it.


On the staff we have decided together that for the future we need to change some things, so that this doesn’t happen again. I will leave it to the others, who did the most to help resolve this, to explain it all to you.

For me personally, I love you. I have not stopped caring while I acted as I did. TG is one of the most important things to me, as almost every friend I have is here.

As I have said, in my culture, you show others you appreciate them, by working to take care of what they need; so I plan to continue to do this, when the others on the staff allow me to.


Again I am sorry for everything and I hope you still feel at home here with us.

LP,
Dusty

Most problems are man-made.

[Image: therapy%20wolf.png]
2019-04-09 19:33
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Raz
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Post: #2
RE: Apology
Always. I've always felt at home here. I've told you earlier, but I'll tell you again; Apology accepted. Glad to have you back, hun. Smile

Raz
2019-04-09 19:43
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LycanTheory
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Peace, Freedom, Unity
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Post: #3
RE: Apology
Dust has posted this so that it's clear and visible to everyone who's a part of TG.

What I'm here to say is that what happened, happened. It was addressed by myself and the rest of the staff at the time and we're now working together to resolve some of the issues which lead up to the incident which, admittedly, I dropped the ball a while back and didn't catch a few things which might have prevented it from happening. That said, we've all made poor decisions and rash choices at times. Like it or not, that's part of our nature as humans, to whatever degree that we are. It happens.

While Dust's poor choices did lead to strife and I'm sure some hurt feelings, that does not take away from the years of stalwart dedication he has offered and continues to offer this forum and it's extended community.

What I'm here to address is the grumbeling that's going on in the shadows, which I've been made aware of and am none too pleased about. Tongue I won't get into who or where but I want it to stop here and now. Everyone here deserves the common courtesy and basic dignity of being respected and treated as they would like themselves to be and I don't know of a single member who would want someone whispering about them behind their back.

Dust doesn't deserve it, lord knows I've had books written about me by people who were too afraid to say it to my face and I don't deserve it, nor do any of the rest of the staff who contribute a great deal of our lives and a good portion of our finances to keep this place up and running and give back to the members of this community, period.

If anyone has an issue with another member here, be they staff, special member or whatever the case may be, I know I've said it a thousand times by now, my PM box is always open and I will address the issue as fair and non-biased as I possibly am able to. I can honestly say the same for the rest of the staff. If you don't feel comfortable going to a particular member of our mod team, there's enough of us that sooner or later, you should feel comfortable talking to at least one of us about whatever is going on or if that's still not an option, please don't hesitate to bring the issue up to one of our pup reps or even one of our special members if they wish to relay a message.

My bottom line is that none of us are here to cause trouble for anyone else, nor do we wish to. We are those who seek only to serve and to guide if we can, to give and to help. Sometimes, we have bad days, bad weeks, bad months, it happens but that's why there's more than one of us.

Please help us maintain Therian Guide as a safe haven for all.

We have dealt with the issue regarding Dust's behavior and we are now working with him towards the future.

Let us not dwell in cold, blackness of night but keep our eyes forward to the horizon of a rising sun and with it, a new day.

Thank you, all

Lycan

[Image: 2d7c5ts.jpg]

2019-04-09 20:02
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GangsterFox
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Post: #4
RE: Apology
its okay man we all screw up some time or another I have my own problem of hiding my depression with random comments and actions just dont try to do it again and i accept your apology

"real G's wear suit and ties, fake G's sag their pants" - gangsterfox
2019-04-09 23:26
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Zefer Nezumi
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Post: #5
RE: Apology
And now, to complement Lycan's post, I want to say "Thank you" to those who have extended patience and support.

Our true character shows during times of strife. Our individual lives have been full of these moments, right? I'm not sure I've spoken to a single person on here who has said "life has been completely easy."

Life is tough and sometimes, bad things happen. What matters most is what you choose to do when you realize you have that choice.

Sometimes, that realization comes after the fact, but it's never too late to actually make that choice.

I'm proud to see those who have reached out to offer support, in the midst of confusion. I'm proud to see those who have maintained faith, even when others were saying not to or when it seemed easier to turn away. I'm proud of those who sought opportunities to help heal and build, rather than work to tear down, in moments of need. I'm proud of those who stood against criticism.

Especially because that's hard. It's very, very hard.

And I'm proud of those who have admitted fault and decided to work together to repair. This is the true testament of teamwork; real support when things got rough, determination to work toward a realistic solution, and individual efforts to push past the pain to move forward.

Together.

In the end, that's what this is all about.

I'm extremely proud to be a part of a team that is dedicated to turning this into an opportunity for growth. We've worked hard to understand each other, connect, support and evolve. It's not been easy, but we're getting it done.

I realize that my words may not have a huge impact, but many of us do pour a lot of time, effort, and various other things in making TG the sanctuary it has become. We ask for very little in return, as it should be - we do this for you, not for ourselves, and we're doing the best we know how to with the best we've got, because yes... we do care.

I hope that our commitment to showing real teamwork in this critical moment serves as a sort of inspiration. None of us can change the past, and apologies were made.

Now it's time to focus on building the future.

Together.

- ZN

The Punk Pun-Therian

[Image: cawfee_kitten___transparent_eng_by_storm...c2h45w.png]
2019-04-10 3:03
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Ves
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Post: #6
RE: Apology
Apology accepted Dusty, none of us are perfect and we all mess up at times as others have said. And like what Zefer already said, we cannot let it tear us down. Heart
I know a lot of negative feelings and hurt happened, but I do believe all that happened will help to bring us all closer together and stronger in the end. For even people who are close and love each other fight and hurt each other sometimes, but I think that's just part of being close, and I believe you all and wecan work to resolve it and make good out of it instead of more bad. I just really hope you are OK Dusty and will continue to be, please do take care of yourself. bheart
2019-04-11 7:50
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pardonightwalker
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Post: #7
RE: Apology
You are an important part of this community. That you saw what you did was wrong, came back, and are making good is what counts. I also appreciate that you didn't do technical damage to the site while you could have.

I've been worried about you. I'm sorry I never ventured forth with that uneasy concern to ask if you needed someone to talk to. Life gets us all so busy, involved with our own daily survival. Seriously, we all try to band together, but then the outside world pulls us away.

You're a good wolf. I have faith in you. I'd also like to venture forth the idea that I believe in most cultures, regardless of nationality, the basic caring for one another is an integral element. It's not just something in Italy or Europe. As for Europe, my lineage comes from Germany and Poland, with some English on my mother's side. I have no disrespect for any of the EU. I don't understand why anyone would.

From the beginning of time, out of silence, Snow Leopard sang the stars to life, the sun to rise and the moon to wax and wane. High above the hidden valley, her song clothed the world in white and built a crackling fortress of snow, buttressed with ice, to keep all things safe and secret. Jackie Morris
2019-04-22 11:17
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RindellSparkWolf
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Post: #8
RE: Apology
Apology accepted. We all make mistakes. It's ok. Smile Heart

Therian, Otherkin or not, I will always be happy to be friends with you! Heart Big Grin
2019-04-25 1:37
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Ishvala
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Post: #9
RE: Apology
Do I even need to say it? You've been at my back when no one else bothered. I've certainly made some mistakes, how could I ever fault you for simply doing what you felt was right at the time? It's more than I can say I've done. Do as you will. If you need me, I'm a message away.
2019-04-26 15:25
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Vintage
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Post: #10
RE: Apology
Hey- apology accepted. We all mess up at points, we all need to vent when life gets really heavy.
I wasn't personally offended Dust- I just felt that something more was going on and you needed to vent-- that's okay. Stay Safe and take time to de-stress from situations. I know that things can be really shitty but you have our support here.

[Image: 2z8b80o.png]

Timber wolf therian-- changeling-- horse/crow hearted
---
If you need to reach me- pm me

~Being kin is a journey of finding yourself, loosing yourself, searching and doing it all over again.~
2019-04-26 16:54
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